Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 11 DP - Hit my first wall

If you're a runner, you know what it means to hit 'the wall.'  You start out really well, full of energy and enthusiasm.  You're steadily going along pretty smoothly and without a problem but then all of a sudden your body puts on the brakes.  Lifting your legs one after the other feels like a chore.  The mental game kicks into high gear and your pain body is fed by all kinds of negative emotions and feelings.

That was me today.  I looked at the trout in the fridge and didn't even want to get it out to cook.  Glanced over to the three remaining clams and was a little repulsed.  Beans and rice - blahch!  My thoughts: "Why am I doing this to myself?"  "I'm only a quarter way through and I can't stand any of the food I have."  "Why do these kids keep leaving out their Easter candy?!"  "Boy that bowl of fruit looks good."  Boy that (fill in the blank with any food item) looks and smells so good."  "What was I thinking?"  All of these thoughts are just feeding my pain body.  And it's growing.  This is my first wall. 
This is a very tough part of the Survivor Diet Challenge.  The mental game kicks in and starts messing with your mind and when your body is hungry it is a lot easier to mess with your mind.  I'm feeling very alone.  I did something out of the ordinary today - and maybe a little stretch of the rules a bit.  I cut myself a small piece of freshly killed wild boar meat for breakfast.  I was debating about doing this because I wasn't officially the hunter but my emotions got the best of me and I decided that it was ok - at least for today.  It wasn't the tastiest thing in the world but it was different and salty like ham and it had a certain wild game quality to it.  I enjoyed it enough to get me out the door and to work this morning.  Work would take my mind off the challenge.  At least until lunch time.

For lunch I went to Home Depot to gather some supplies for my crab line.  Afterward I went home to forage through my dwindling back yard for a "salad" consisting of broccoli greens, kale leaves, and random weeds and edible flowers.  I took a bunch of photos of my back yard foliage the other day.

wild mustard greens
violet flower and greens
These have been my favorite green food - violet leaves
  I needed a little greenery boost so this lunch was a perfect decision.  I was thinking about fishing after work but that plan got quickly crushed once again due to prior commitments to the kids and their activities.  Oh well - there's always tomorrow.  Today was a rough one for me.  I'm still hopeful that the weather greatly improves over the weekend but if it doesn't I'm going to have to get the rain gear on and get a little wet.  Yuck.

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”