Day 12 DP - Having doubts

Having doubts about my ability to complete this challenge.  As my sources for food grow scarce, my desire for other peoples food intensifies.  I've said it before but the hardest part about this whole thing is being around other people eating normally and especially watching the kids waste all kinds of food.  It kills me when I see someone throw out half a sandwich because they, "didn't really like it that much" or "didn't realize that they weren't as hungry as they thought when they ordered it."  Ahh - I wish I could be a garbage picker!  I'd be fine just following my kids around all day.
Ironically, the greens are still quite plentiful in the backyard.  When I'm really desperate I just go out back and pick mostly violet flowers and leaves.  Haven't even touched many dandelions yet.  And I haven't really done any exploring to look for those stinging nettles or ramps or mushrooms or any other wild stuff.  The yard has had enough thus far.  I said 'ironically' because last time around I had a bounty of striped bass and bluefish at this point and the greens were seriously lacking.
I finished my small piece of wild boar, no more trout (I ate 8 trout since last Sunday), 3 clams left, plenty of beans and rice and I have sea salt, butter and rice seasoning at my disposal.  That's my inventory.  I could really use a couple nice big fish.  The weather is supposed to be better this weekend so maybe there will be some fish around.  I hate to resort to going out on a party boat but I will if I have to.  My boat isn't ready just yet but I plan to get working on that tomorrow.  The kayak is ready and rigged to go - just waiting on the weather.
Today was a slow day at work so my mind was on food a lot.  I didn't bring a lunch and what I ended up doing was going home and picking through the backyard.  And water of course.  I weighed myself today and on Day 12 I have lost a total of 12 pounds.  I guess that means I'm on pace to lose 40 pounds! Ha.
I had a softball game right after work and that helped to distract me from the Survivor Diet.  I had a lot of energy too so no worries there.  After the game the team was going to the Pour House for beer, burgers, wings, etc. etc. etc.  I had to make up an excuse to not go because I just couldn't take watching and smelling the Pour House burgers - one of the best in the area.
This has been tough from the start and it's getting tougher.  I don't know what or where my next meal will be.  I have virtually nothing in reserve.  I'm going to have to rely on my rations of beans and rice to get me through this dry spell.  The only problem is that I'm starting to get sick of beans and rice.  At least I have salt and butter and some crappy rice seasoning.  I'm doing my best but it's times like these when I realize how difficult the Survivor Diet Challenge actually is.  Not for the faint of heart - that's for sure.

“When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.”