Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day 30 DP - The Secret to Losing Weight (and keeping it off)

After 30 days - I have figured it all out.  Here it is.  Are you ready?  You have to REALLY be ready to hear this or else you're not going to believe it, want it, or do it.  Ok - now that I have your attention and you are primed for the information - let's get to it.
The Secret to Losing Weight (and keeping it off) is. . .
DO NOT BUY FOOD!  It sounds so simple doesn't it?  Ok - I know what you are thinking - How stupid.  Right?  Well, let me rephrase that and explain in a little more detail.  Try this one on for size - DO NOT BUY JUNK FOOD!  See that - I added one little word 'junk' and it probably makes a whole lot of sense now - Right?  Junk, junk, junk.  It is EVERYWHERE. 
Now keep in mind that I didn't say "Do not EAT junk food."  Just do not BUY junk food.  That is the beauty, and simplicity of this whole losing weight epiphany that I had.  Like I said above - Junk food is everywhere.  When you find it, if it's offered to you, if you steal it - you can eat it!  Yeah, that's right - I said 'if you steal it.'  Listen, if you steal a little bite of chocolate that belongs to someone else, it's Ok.  I'm certainly NOT talking about stealing as in going to a store and stealing it off the shelves or anything illegal.  What I mean by stealing is - Throughout your day if you should happen to pass by a bowl of candy or a box of Dunkin Munchkins or something like that - purchased and placed there by someone else - then it's Ok to grab a little treat from where ever you 'find' it.
You don't have to count calories or turn down an offer from someone to have a piece of cake or an ice cream cone - Go ahead.  Have at it and enjoy it.  JUST DON'T BUY IT!
This practice will help you in several ways:
  • Number one - you will save a lot of money.  This is certainly not the main objective but it is a collateral benefit so I thought it worth mentioning.
  • Number two - When you rely solely on your ability to find or steal or poach or mooch your junk food you will quickly find out that you will only have little tid-bits and small tastes of these things.  Why?  Because you feel guilty for taking something that belongs to someone else.  No longer will you have a whole box of cookies and gorge yourself on them until they disappear.  The guilt factor kicks in and you politely take your one cookie (small portions) and are grateful to have it.
  • Number three - You will find yourself appreciating the taste of treats when you do get them.  You will savor that taste because your portion size will typically be a lot smaller and it may be a while before you get your next jolt of junk food - it's totally unpredictable.  But knowing that the junk is everywhere - free for the taking - will keep you in control.  Rest assured, somewhere it will turn up again shortly.

The only thing you have to remember is. . . that's right. . . DO NOT BUY JUNK FOOD.  Think about it.  I mean REALLY think about it.

Oh - I forgot one other benefit - when you stop buying junk food, eventually you will not have any conveniently around your house.  For a while you will look in all of the familiar places where it usually hangs out.  Then you'll peek in all of the places that it usually hides or is stashed for a rainy day.  Guess what?  It won't be there.  Then an interesting thing happens.  A shift.  You start to realize that you aren't really looking for this junk because you are hungry - you are just a little bored.  Yeah, you'll keep looking for a while - even though deep down you know it's not there.  But after a couple hundred times doing this your mind will start to make the connection.  You will start to. . .(hold onto your seats now). . . DO OTHER STUFF!  I know - sounds crazy doesn't it? 
You're probably thinking, "Do other stuff.  What stuff?  What is this idiot talking about?"  I'm talking about ANYTHING else in life.  You will suddenly be forced to fill in these gaps of time with things other than boredom eating.  It will hit you like a ton of bricks when it happens.  You'll think to yourself - Oh, maybe I could paint that fence, or clean my office, or create a blog, or ride my bike, or go play tennis, or buy some chickens and build a coop in my backyard, or start that project I have been putting off all this time.  Your creative mind will start to actually work again.  Remember that part of you?  The creative side - well it has been stifled for a long time and it's time to let it out!  Heck, you'll even start to discover new creative ways and places to 'find' your junk food - just don't buy it.  Ok?
Boredom Eating folks - it's the plague of modern America. (and I'm not an idiot).

That's enough of my rambling for one day. I thought this "Jerry Maguire moment" deserved a quote from Jerry himself:
"If anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the ground floor of something real and fun and inspiring and true in this godforsaken business and we will do it together! Who's coming with me?"
"Help me... help you. Help me, help you."

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